: Pastoral Letters :
Rediscovering Marriage
Who will save the dignity and sanctity of marriage? In a world such as ours, in which the standards of faithfulness and fecundity are less and less valued, the contemporary originality of Christian marriage needs to be brought to light.
Human beings do not live out their vocation simply by having dominion over the universe; nor must they merely strive to improve their living conditions. There is, in humans, an innate need to seek out someone with whom they can enter into a profound and intimate relationship. "God created man in the image of himself, in the image of God he created him, male and female he created them" (Gn 1:27). Indeed, thanks to the fundamental life force within himself, man can, right from the start, discover in woman "another" himself: "This at last is bone from my bones, and flesh from my flesh! This is to be called woman, for this was taken from man" (Gn 2:23). The sexual makeup of men and women must, like all of their physical existence, be understood as a presence, a language, the recognition of the other. The mystery of man and woman is not found solely in man and woman considered separately, but also in their communion with one another, leading up to an authentic, open and fruitful dialogue. Love is a force that allows two people to accept one another just as they are.
In the old text from Genesis, the deep ties that bind man and woman have two vital characteristics: they are superior to any other bond, including the relationships with father and mother as mentioned in the Decalogue immediately following those with God; they are so intimate and profound, on the spiritual and physical levels, that they fuse the human couple into a single being: Wherefore a man shall leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they shall be two in one flesh (Gn 2:24).
Jesus refers to this reality when He reaffirms the indissolubility of the marriage bond. The Pharisees want to embarrass Jesus by asking him about the delicate issue of divorce. In the perspective of the Old Covenant, in which the hearts of human beings were not yet completely transformed, divorce could be tolerated, replies Jesus. In the perspective of God’s Kingdom, the true meaning of marriage is rediscovered: that of the complete and definitive union between a man and a woman. (Cf Mk 10:1-12). Jesus thus elevates the debate well above the simple legal point of view. Love is an infinitely serious reality. It presupposes a total and binding commitment. The husband gives himself to his wife and vice versa. How significant, this mutual commitment! What is more, Jesus does not consider the institution of marriage as simply external: it has great depth. One must be totally available to one’s spouse. Jesus gives to human love its most authentic and lasting raison d’être. God, in His act of creation, gave many gifts to humanity; of these, marriage is the most beautiful. It reflects something of the gift of self, of love and of intimate communion with the other . . . These are attributes of the very essence of the Triune God. It is in the unity of the couple that human beings achieve the portrayal of God’s image; they are "procreators". Without a doubt, the couple that engenders a child sees itself, in this act, as the recipient of the power to cooperate with God.
With Jesus, marriage has become permanently contemporary. Indeed, through the sacrament of marriage, Authentic married love is caught up into divine love and is governed and enriched by Christ's redeeming power and the saving activity of the Church, so that this love may lead the spouses to God with powerful effect and may aid and strengthen them in sublime office of being a father or a mother. (Pastoral Constitution "Gaudium et Spes", 48, 2).
We could say that the sacrament of marriage is a baptism that applies to the marital state. In actual fact, Christian spouses experience, at the center of their lives, the mystery of the death and resurrection of the Lord. How difficult it is to truly love another! The destructive force of selfishness can so easily penetrate human relationships! However, thanks to the sacramental grace, hearts are purified of selfishness, and a connection is established between human love and Christ’s love for the Church: a selfless and total love which gives of itself without reserve. There is no authentic love without renunciation, without self-sacrifice. Such is the kind of love that spouses are called to replicate in their married life! A sublime love that surpasses solely human possibilities! That is why Christ remains with the spouses, in order that they may live it. The close rapport with Christ nourishes and makes possible the unity, indissolubility and fruitfulness of Christian marriage. Responsible parenthood is then carried out while respecting God’s plan.
Physical and carnal love is not an egotistical search for pleasure, but the expression of a complete and spiritual love, which signifies and nourishes the communion of persons. The sacrament enhances the human reality and makes it a sign of a greater love. This sublime calling to love becomes a reality only in an irrevocable covenant between a man and a woman. Thus the partnership of their whole life is ordered to their well-being as well as to the procreation and upbringing of children.
Ah! If only today’s society could discover the meaning of human sexuality and true love! . . . Sexuality is ordered to the conjugal love of man and woman; it is not something purely biological, but it concerns the whole human person most intimately. It is good, even holy. It is a marvellous, creative force. And yet, when sexual attraction is separated from the whole of human values and is no longer an integral part of the love through which a man and a woman make a commitment to each other, it becomes a source of selfishness and of unsuspected depths of evil.
The intimate partnership of married life and love has been established by the Creator and qualified by His laws. God Himself is the author of matrimony (GS 48, 1). The marriage vocation is inscribed in the very nature of men and women, fashioned by the Creator’s hands. Marriage is therefore not a purely human institution . . . The dignity and greatness of the marital union simply cannot tolerate redefinition. Here then is our challenge: to preserve the holiness and to foster the natural dignity of the married state and its superlative value (GS 47, 3).
+ Emilius Goulet, P.S.S.
Archbishop of Saint Boniface
Solemnity of Saint Joseph
March 19th, 2005
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